Discomfort is not harm.
It is what happens when reality is no longer being managed for you.
It is what happens when reality is no longer being managed for you.
A role can be anything: mother, daughter, friend, partner, colleague. As humans, we move through a series of roles depending on circumstance, proximity, and need. Over time, roles accumulate rules. These rules are rarely explicit. They develop gradually, shaped by repetition, expectation, and what proved functional. As conditions change, the
Power does not require domination. It does not need volume, aggression, or intent. Power exists wherever one person’s choices shape another person’s reality. Parents have power over children. Managers have power over employees. Emotionally regulated people have power over dysregulated ones. People with stability have power over people
Emotional intelligence is often confused with tolerance. With staying calm while absorbing harm. With understanding someone’s limitations and adjusting accordingly. With not making things “a big deal.” That is not emotional intelligence. That is emotional labour. Emotional intelligence does not require you to carry the consequences of someone else’
“I didn’t mean to” is often offered as a repair. It isn’t. It is a statement about intent, delivered in response to impact. Those are not the same category. When someone says “I didn’t mean to,” they are not addressing what happened. They are repositioning themselves as