Clear-eyed writing about responsibility, power, boundaries, and adulthood as a practice. This section names patterns without rescuing, centres accountability over intent, and treats maturity as something demonstrated—not declared.
The Adult
A role can be anything: mother, daughter, friend, partner, colleague. As humans, we move through a series of roles depending on circumstance, proximity, and need. Over time, roles accumulate rules. These rules are rarely explicit. They develop gradually, shaped by repetition, expectation, and what proved functional. As conditions change, the
The Adult
Power does not require domination. It does not need volume, aggression, or intent. Power exists wherever one person’s choices shape another person’s reality. Parents have power over children. Managers have power over employees. Emotionally regulated people have power over dysregulated ones. People with stability have power over people
The Adult
Emotional intelligence is often confused with tolerance. With staying calm while absorbing harm. With understanding someone’s limitations and adjusting accordingly. With not making things “a big deal.” That is not emotional intelligence. That is emotional labour. Emotional intelligence does not require you to carry the consequences of someone else’
The Adult
“I didn’t mean to” is often offered as a repair. It isn’t. It is a statement about intent, delivered in response to impact. Those are not the same category. When someone says “I didn’t mean to,” they are not addressing what happened. They are repositioning themselves as
The Adult
Unreliability is often framed as a personality trait. Busy. Overwhelmed. Bad with time. Bad at planning. Something innate. Something forgivable. But unreliability is not a trait. It is a behaviour—and it has a cost. When someone repeatedly fails to follow through, the impact does not land on them. It
The Adult
They Lied to Keep You From Choosing There is a comforting myth we tell about dishonesty. That people lie to protect feelings. That they lie because they’re afraid of hurting someone. That omission is kindness with better manners. It isn’t. Most lies are not about tenderness. They are
The Adult
Most systems don’t fail loudly. They keep working — just not for everyone. Deadlines are missed, but things still get done. Decisions are delayed, but someone fills the gap. Responsibilities blur, but outcomes are delivered. From the outside, it looks functional. From the inside, it relies on a small number
The Adult
I did not come here to be adored. I came to be steady when the room tilts. To be the hand on the small back that does not flinch when the story gets loud, or inconvenient, or ugly. I came to learn the weight of my own shadow— how it
The Adult
The world didn’t leave. I did. I folded myself smaller until I fit inside a checklist. Learned to speak in deadlines. Learned the holiness of “later.” Learned that if I stayed useful enough, nothing bad would happen. That was the deal. Days became transactions. Breath in, task out. Nothing
The Adult
I believed there was a reason buried under the silence— something still whole, if I stayed long enough, if I pressed carefully, if I didn’t flinch. I mistook absence for depth. Avoidance for complexity. I kept circling the wound, calling it understanding, calling it patience, calling it love. But
The Adult
Responsibility is often treated as an emotion. Something you feel when you care enough. Something you lack when you don’t. That framing is convenient—and incorrect. Responsibility is not about intention, empathy, or self-awareness. It is about ownership of impact. You can feel remorse without taking responsibility. You can